Wednesday, 17 May 2017

The End Is Nigh

I've enjoyed this domain, moregravy.info, but I'm not going to renew it on August 17th.  Google has made it too complicated, reminding me that I might prefer a Wordpress site. Before I knew it, I made one: russellcronin.com

I imagined a gradual, dignified withdrawal, but it proved very easy to import all the content from Blogger to Wordpress, so I am going to focus on the new platform from now on.

Portentously, these may be my final More Gravier words. These pages will evaporate when their .info domain expires. I registered it in August 2012, after my first cataract operation, as soon as I could see again through one eye. Five years has flown: phew!

It's been fun, but it's time to move on.
Nobody knows what I've been through, largely because I've kept schtum. When I do try to explain, I sound insane, not least to myself. Some smile kindly and nod as if to a batty relative; other fellow travellers shrug dismissively, as if my subjective experience is nothing special.

I have been directed toward certain sources of reassurance, online, but those sagacious women tend to talk in a language I don't share. Still, the likes of Denise Le Fay (my favourite 'ascension auntie') describe acute physical symptoms with which I am uncomfortably familiar. Increasingly since the Summer of 2014 and, since the turn of this year, more intensely and nearly all the time.

I'm not inclined to discuss these symptoms with doctors for the same reason I no longer monitor my hypertension. Having cheated death, I am not going out with a whimper. Surges of euphoria inform me that my smouldering sacrum is not myeloma; tingling thighs indicate neither neuralgia, nor paresthesia; the ever-present buzzing is not tinnitus. The headaches and lethargy I can cope with, if they are intimations of imminent transformation.

What I have chosen to write about was not what has been going on with me, but Heston Blumenthal's cheese sauce (you coat grated cheese with cornflour, add bouillon) and to do so under a name suggested by a couple of random foreigners who might have been taking the piss when they told me that 'russell' sounded in their language like, 'more gravy'. Of course, I have form for this.

Rather than get too personal, my blog page has been somewhat desultory and whimsical. I've used it as a place to store recipes and note places I would like to eat at: 'eateries'. Its index does represent my interests, sort of, initially in food. Last year was all about deceased pop idols, but this year has been businesslike.

For twelve weeks, I've published a 750 word blog post every Wednesday, re: diverse topics. I do it as part of my Universal Credit work search commitment, to advertise my skill and discipline as a copy writer, in case you might want to employ me. I will be better off it doing it under my own name at russellcronin.com

Wordpress is a more popular platform among advertisers on the freelance work sites such as Upwork, where I am currently compelled to compete for work with people who live much more cheaply than I can in Central London. They seem ready, willing and able to write, edit and proofread for next to no money. I expect my days of having to demonstrate 35 hours p/w job hunting to end soon, though, one way or another.

Claiming Universal Credit has not been a wholly negative experience. My work search coach, who at first seemed so tough and stern, has turned out to be only human, constrained by the system he is a part of, but motivated in general to do good. Still, I can hardly explain to him that I'm not too bothered about chasing temp. gigs in the global marketplace because I am preoccupied with embodying the new paradigm.

Even if I knew better what those words meant, how to explain to those trapped in consensus reality that what they perceive through their senses about the world in which they find themselves is illusory? 'Reality' is a collective hallucination. But our collective consciousness, shared via this internet noosphere, is changing, rapidly and dramatically.

This coming weekend, I shall undertake a visionary quest. My purpose is not so much to foresee the future as to draw a line under the past. When I embarked upon this journey, 20 years ago, rational understanding was the first thing to go. May whatever comes next be unprecedented.

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